I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
