if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
