So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
