you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
