Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
