Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
