Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
