You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
