She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
