i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
