By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize