I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
