To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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