this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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