I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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