I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
