I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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