Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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