Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
