To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
