i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
