I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
what day is it and did you see me today?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
