That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
