I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize