No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
