Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
