Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
