do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
well you can't waste a boner
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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