I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
