I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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