They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i now understand why vodka
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
