is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
