Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
