why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
