I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
