Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
