Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
