Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
