so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
