its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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