so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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