Four minutes until I can fart!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
