i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
