Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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