not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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