if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
