He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Green mimosas i think yes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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