And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In other news, I just burned my penis
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
