Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
