Sry I called you an 8
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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