i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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