apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
