I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
