hell yes lets make some ravioli
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
