Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
