i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize