This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
