You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
