Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize