yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
