i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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