my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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