erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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