Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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