you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
